My left hand : My daughters story

I never wrote about this before. I never felt the need to. But I thought it would be nice to share it for anyone who is going through it. It's rare but it does happen. It happened to my Daughter.

All through my pregnancy I had a feeling. Well I had two. The first was that I was having a girl. I just knew. Don't ask me how but I did. A gut feeling. The second is that there was something different about this baby. I was worried that my baby was going to be born with DS, or spina bifida or worse. But every Mother to be has those feelings. Right?

I had my scans and everything was fine. No signs of DS, the spine was perfect. Everything looked perfect. A tiny little perfect human inside me. But that feeling never went away. That feeling that something was different about my baby. 

Fast forward to my labor. It was the best I could have asked for. My midwife was amazing. She did everything I asked . We had music on, the lights were low, she entertained my husband. She made everything so relaxed. My labor was easy. Only gas and air and I was doing great. When my daughter finally came into the world, she was perfect. I was right, it was a girl... and I was right about the other thing too... She was missing part of her left hand.

You can see the little fingers here when she was a few months old. Cute, right?

The midwife gave me my baby. I looked at her. Her dark hair. Her big beautiful eyes. Her little left hand. She was perfect. I had her for a few minutes and then the room was full of doctors. They looked, poked and prodded her. They handed her back to me and said she was a happy, healthy baby just missing a little bit of her hand. That was it. I wasn't crying. I wasn't in shock. I was relived. I was imagining much worse things for my baby.

The next couple of days were a mix of x-rays, blood tests, every doctor coming to have a look at her. I didn't mind. They were checking to see if she was ok. My family were asking if I was ok. I was fine. I wasn't upset. They were all saying "the poor little thing". That made me upset. In my eyes there was nothing wrong with her. 

A few days passed. I was kept in hospital a bit longer than normal. They were waiting for test results and I liked the quite time with her. And then it hit me. It hit me like a tonne of bricks. I just started crying. All the emotions since the birth burst out of me. I was sitting on the bed with my little girl in my arms and all I could do was cry. I was a mixture of sadness, joy, tiredness, anger, worry. Why did this happen ? Why us? Why this little girl? I just had to let it out. What was ahead of my daughter. Would she be ok? Would she need surgery? Would she need a prosthetic?

I didn't know what lay ahead of us. We ended up having to go to Cappagh Orthopedic Hospital in Dublin. More x-rays, more tests. I still didn't know what caused this. Why did it happen? They said it was one of those things. I did nothing wrong. It wasn't something I took or ate. I wasn't something I did. There was no reason for this. They said it could happen again. They said it might not. They said that if I had another child it could be worse. They said it might not. I was confused.

My daughter is 5 and a half now. She is amazing. Nothing stops her. Her hand has never been an issue. If anything it makes her more determinate to do things. I have never stopped her from doing anything. If she wants to try something, she goes for it. I thought she would find it hard to crawl... Wrong! I thought she would find it hard tying buttons and zips... Wrong!! She had that down at 2 and a half. I never thought she would ride a bike... Wrong again!!! She amazes me everyday. She ride horses, bikes, climbs up on things that I never thought she would be able to. She is amazing. She is always smiling. Never complains. Never uses her hand as an excuse. I'd kick her butt if she did. 

I now know that I was right. There is something different about my baby girl. And it's not just her hand. It's her. She is going to do amazing things. I just know it.

If I have any advise for Moms and Dads who find themselves in this position, it's to never give up hope, never let it hold your child back, never let anyone tell you that your child can't do something. 

Because this little girl proved to me that you can do anything you want and nothing can hold you back. Not even missing part of your left hand.