Wednesday, 26 February 2014

Mom Fail : Falling through the cracks

When I got pregnant with my son I promised I was not going to let the new baby make my daughter feel left out or ignored. Coming to the end of my pregnancy I made a big effort to do things with her. We spent more time together doing things. Just simple things like watching TV or a DVD or going to the park. I really noticed that she loved this time together.

Fast forward 2 years, things have changed. With everything that was going on with having a new baby then a toddler and school and everyday life, I felt that she was slipping through the cracks a little bit. Even though I wanted to do these things with her, I wasn't getting one on one time with her. I thought when the little guy sleeps I do something with her. But there was always something to be done. All the cooking, cleaning and other stuff had to get done but my daughter was missing me.

Even though we were together all the time, we weren't spending quality time together.
And then she said the words that broke my heart.
"Mommy, why don't we do thing together anymore? Just us."
I nearly cried right there in front of her.
I felt like a failure.
Like a bad mother for letting this happen.

But I held it together and thought how could we fix this.
I asked her what she wanted to do.
She didn't mind what it was once it was just us. No brother!
She told me she loved him but he was very noisy and took alot of my time.
Both of those thing are so true.

So now we do just us.
Mother/Daughter dates.
Nothing amazing or anything. Going to Tesco to get some shopping or doing her homework when her brother is asleep. It' didn't matter once she had my full attention and it was just us.
the difference in her is unreal. She is much happier and content in herself. It's not that she wasn't happy before but she'd just happier now.
Her love cup is full.

The point I'm making is that we all need one on one time with each other. 
So go and grab one of your kids and have a date with them.
Just them.

It'll make all the difference.

What do you do to make you kids feel special?
Let me know in the comments or drop me an email.
I'd love to know.

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